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Dastanva's Blog
the randomness
so you know how sometimes you are on the internet, and you are about to leave the computer, and you remember a website you once checked but phased out... well due to obvious reasons this one did just that... and i thought "lets see whats up"- well obviously nobody will read this...but i thought what the hell, upload some new pics, make a new blog post, and maybe the right person just might notice the activity. im realistic, i know that wont happen, but lets pretend.
tick tock, tick tock. less than a year till i expire-
the ending
so, it looks as though my time on the site, as far as vying for a spot, has come to an end. im number 47 in the "late" category, which clearly shows i wont me making it to round 4.
its all good though. while, i still maintain, that i embody all that is meant for reality/entertainment television.... its all good, i will eventually have my own show anyways...trust me, i have that much faith in my ability to naturally entertain the world.
anyway... the funny thing is... i didnt really make it anywhere... i mean you dont make final 10, hell, you dont make number 1... on this site, and it really does not matter... BUT...
i must say a time or two, i have been recognized in a milwaukee area bar.... its gone along the lines of
"i know you from somewhere...."-random person
"oh, i dont recognize you, sorry."-me
"are you sure? i swear i know you-"-random person
"nope, sorry." - me
***a bit later***
"i know where i know you from!!! youre from that website!!!" - random person
"um, what website?" -me (confused)
"the real world one, right?" -random person
"oh, yup, that would probably be me" - me
"sweet! good luck with that" -random person
"thanks..." -me
so while im nobody famous, and i did not make it to the end... i did make my goal of making it past round 1. and i also came VERY CLOSE to making it to round 3 (i was 19 spots away, and that doesnt count if anybody got disqualified).... so i was close. i made a goal. and hey, its pretty entertaining when randoms in bars recognize you, even though you really have done nothing.
so until casting for season 21 occurs(which im bound to try for again(if my friends arent as useless as they were this time), if there is site voting)... we will see what happens with the site, i'll stick around to see who is victorious, and place some vote of my own now... but alas, hope is gone...and ya'll will be seeing me around one day, i promise. i will be here though, when The Real World turns 21! (right not y-o but seasonally speaking)
peace,
dvg
good luck to the rest of you! cant wait to see which on of your crazy asses made it over me!
the facts of life (round 3: part 2)
***What is the biggest problem you face?***
i'm going to answer this on a more immediate and then on a more long term scale.
The most immediate problem i have is just 'my life' in its current state. i am not in the right place in life, and im trying to dig my way out. that may sound vague, and not like a problem i face, but let me put things into a better perspective. i'm living check my check, as many college students do. i cashed a payroll check for a friend who did not have a bank in milwaukee(in late feb), when i thought it cleared i gave him the money. the checked bounced and he quit the job. he was out of a job, had just paid rent and had no way to pay me back. it is 4 months later, and after over 2 months of not talking, we just did 3 days ago, he still has yet to pay me back. i basically lost a very close friend over money.
in may my closest friends dad passed away. we had some communication errors during this time, and i think she feels i did not care about her situation, which was not/is not the case. we havent talked in a month, again i lost another incredibly close friend (perhaps the closest friend).
that same weekend (in mid may) i was in a car accident. it was just me, in the wrong place, at the wrong time...speeding. i didnt hit anybody else, but i did total my car and end up in the ER with 5 stitches in my eyebrow, and one nasty looking face, followed with some fractured ribs(from the seatbelt). a simple lessoned was learned in a very painful way. i had no car or health insurace, the ER bill was a grand. its hard to go to college full time, work full time, pay rent, and bills, as well as feed yourself, and also pay for car/health insurace. i receive very minimal help from my parents. i know a million people who parents pay their insurance, or pay their rent while they are in school, or pay for their books and groceries. my parents do not. i am now carless as well.
i then graduated a week after the accident, and the pressure and stress of not starting a career immediately has emotionally drained me. i feel like my life is at this point where i need to decide something, but i dont know what the answer is and im too afraid to make the wrong choice, so i just sit in limbo.
due to the accident, the friend who owes me money, and the fact my tax return has been delayed, i do not have the money to put a deposit on a new apartment when my lease is up... and i have to be out in less than 6 weeks!
i am not bitching or asking for a pityfest... but my life is my biggest problem right now. i know things could be worse, especially after the car accident... and i know i will overcome where i am at... but i just feel my life is at a standstill at the moment. maybe that is something i need to work on, growing up, and taking adult risks... its funny when you grow up so fast, and then you hit a point where it almost feels like your emotions and 'growing up' start to degress.
long-term. wouldnt saying 'being gay' be the right thing? unfortunately thats not a problem. long term i want people in the gay community to have an acceptance of who they are as individuals. i feel like a big problem facing gay/bi men, is the expectations of the gay community to but this social stigma on being gay. i feel as if gays are harder on each other than a lot of straight people are. i often feel like i have to "prove" i am gay because im not as flamboyant or 'queen' like as others. ive even had a few gay people tell me im not gay enough, or that they are better gays then me. i also read an article in a local paper where someone stated if a gay male is "butch" that they are closet cases. i may not wear glitter and spandex, but that does not make me any less proud of who i am, and who i have become. so until people in the gay community can accept themselves, and the differences that can be had within the community, how can the community hope for acceptance/tolerance from those outside the gay community, if we cannot tolerate ourselves?
***Describe your childhood and home?***
well, my mom had me in north carolina at 16. in two years she was seperating, and we moved in with my grandparents in indiana. i love my grandparents with excessive amounts of love, and they recipricate. i never had a steady home as a child. my mom remarried when i was 6, and we basically moved every year or two. by the time i was 12 id been to approximately 9 different schools. this is why i feel i become overtly attatched to superficial/material things, and not people. i could never make a good friend, because i knew it wouldnt be long before i moved away from them. i put up a strong barrier. my mom end up having a total of 3 more children... and it was great, even though there is a 7 year old gap between me and the next oldest, i finally had entertainment at home, and more people that would be with me for the long haul, and not just a year or two. overall id say my homelife as a child was pretty unstable. i saw my mom go through a lot of emotional abuse in her second marraige... but i dont take back the negatives i experienced when i was younger, because they have made me the person i am today... and im damn happy with who i am.
***Describe a major issue or event that has affected your family***
i honestly dont have a lot of large scale family related issues. we have not really had any life altering dramas. id say the issue thats effecting my family the most is me being gay. my mom doesnt neccissarily approve, but she doesnt understand it. she doesnt feel that being gay is a way you are born, but something you "become" and its very hard to know she feels that way. my dad knows, we have never really talked about it, but i know he loves me. my mom told me there is nothing i could do or anything about me i could tell her that would make her any less proud of who i am. my grandma and uncle know, but not a word has been breathed around them. mainly because my grandpa doesnt know, and until i am in a relationship (or on the real world?) i dont really know how to bring it up, because it doesnt come up in conversation, we dont talk about my love life period, so i feel as if it would be going out of my way, and doing something unordinarly in our relationship by telling him. my siblings dont know, well my sister might by now, but my brothers dont. i basically feel that they are too young (and from too closed minded of a small town) to understand right now, or to wrap their minds around what gay means. so going back up north, or having holidays with the family is always very tense, because everyone has to watch what they say, in front of who.
***Describe yourself as a competitor***
i absolute hate losing. although i am a great deal of the time great with sportsmanship... during a competition (especially physical ones), i have an extreme desire to prove myself, because i feel like most people underestimate the person i am. and its goes beyond that. be it at work, in school, an arguement, almost everything in life is a competition trying to prove one's self, or prove better than another. and i always strive to do my best, it doesnt always mean being number one (although it is nice), but it means knowing i did the absolute best i could. my mom and i can no longer play monopoly because my dad refuses to play with us because we are 'too relentless' when we play games together.
***Why do you want to be on the RW? Why do you think others will vote for you?***
in my other post i did mention my top 5 reasons, but i suppose for the sake of the rules, i best do it in here again...shorthand. i want to be on the real world to participate in an experience that is out of the ordinary, that not just anybody can say they did. i want to learn from the experience and grow as a person, and i think in the long run, the real world, really provides a unique way to do that. i'd also like to use any connections i may come across in the process, as a platform to help others... to be able to have the opportunity to be heard, so that those who can benefit from what ive learned in life so far, can, because ive learned a lot from others, and its only fair i do the same. as i said before, touring schools, having better visibility with writing and blogging... i want to use my experience, not only for myself, but for others as well, i think my goals and personal desires go hand in hand, on how id like to use this experience for others as well. and of course, anybody who says otherwise, would be lying, if they didnt say... to be on the damn show! to say "i was on the real world, im like a c-list celebrity." there is alot of excitement and adrenaline that comes with that territory.
im not sure why i think others will. so far ive only seen people with unrealisticly crazy videos get the most attention, that or those who are clearly acting for the camera, and arent actually entertaining as people, but as characters they are trying to portray, just to get on the show. "look at me, im not like the rest, im artsy, and mature, and dont believe in drinking, pick me because that will create controversy" or "im a big slut, i love to sleep around, and everyone loves a naked chick that sleeps with anyone"...im sick of seeing that shit get voted for. if people are going to vote for me, its because they are going to see, that i am a real person, that just happens to be entertaining and fun. i dont have to try to be, or act like i am, because that is naturally how i am. from my pictures, and blog, i hope people can tell, i am fairly well balanced (or so i like to think)... i know how to have what i consider fun, and go out and drink, but i also know how to entertain myself in other ways, as well be serious when the time comes.
hopefully people see i am a pretty decent guy, flawed, but decent, and that my 20% of being an ass can be made up with the other 80% of who i usually am. i hope they vote for me for those reasons. i dont want people to vote for me because my video is the craziest, or my comments to others are extremely over the top in trying to be 'brutally honest'... i want people to vote for me because... i am funny, down to earth, and i believe my videos and pictures, show that i can be a cooky and fun person without being abnoxious and nauseating.
people will vote for me because im laying it all out there, and being as truthful and honest as i possibly can, and that is the kind of person that should be on the show... not a 'brooke' wannabe.
***Do you drink alcohol? If yes, how do you generally behave when intoxicated?***
of course, i live in milwaukee, and i go to college in milwaukee. 70% of the time, im just a ball of fun, i like to make out, and play darts, and dance, and just be the life of the party. i want everyone to be happy, and be in the same good spirits i am. so 70% of the time im just a crazy and wired-ball of fun. as stated a few times, i like to make sure other people are happy, and it makes me happy to know those around me are happy, so i try to be as entertaining for my friends as i can.
20% of the time, im just crazy, i do really stupid typical 'drunk frat guy' things, and act like a total idiot, and the next day am embarassed. either i passed out somewhere and dont remember the events leading up to that moment, or i opened my mouth about something i shouldnt have and dont remember, or i try to impress people with stupid human tricks and end up breaking something. 10% of the time, i get upset about something really lame, and get mad and end up spending the night alone in my room, after i yelled at someone for something i shouldnt have.
As a Matter of Conflict... (round 3 blog: part 1)
how do i handle conflicts? well it usually happens in two ways...both mostly the same... byt first- hopefully im not writing this for nothing. i do realize im in the top "225" not "200"...but i saw a number of profiles without a second video since round two, or family blogs missing... as well as a blog or two where someone announced they wouldnt be participating any longer, so im thinking i might squeeze into the next round, and want to have this up since i work tomorrow...anyways, ON WITH THE SHOW!
conflict:
the first is i avoid it. if something(someONE) is bothering me and i think conflict will arise, most of the time i just try and ignore it. the only problem is it builds up... and then something small sets me off, and i rant and scream for about 20 minutes, make a big fuss so my point is definately heard...then i take like 30 minutes to completely cool down, and then i'm usually 100% fine( ie i got in a tiff with a roomate the other night because she finished off a homemade pie id baked, without asking. she didnt see the problem, and i tried explaining it was the fact that she ate 'the last' of something that was not hers, and without permission, something i planned on eating later, and it was not there when i went to eat it. i thought the whole situation was rude and she wasnt listening which just made me more upset... it wasnt that she used/ate something that was mine in general... it was about more than a piece of pie). i dont usually get upset with the conflict itself, i usually get upset with the way someone else is handling the said situation, or if i dont feel they are taking what im saying into any consideration. i like to think im very good at expressing my opinion and also listening to the opposite opinion.
^---- that way of solving problems not really the best. its usually when a big situation happens, and i dont want to over-react that i just try to 'forget'... but when i dont get it out right away, i end up bringing it up in future arguements... so no, that is not really the best way to deal with conflict.
the other way i seem to see myself deal with conflict isnt much better. conflicts i get into are 75% of the time, not initiated by someone else because i did something wrong, or they are upset with me. usually it is something someone else did that upsets me first. i have a very high standard for how i expect to be treated by other people; i try my best to treat others (especially friends and aquiantance) with as much respect as possible. so when i feel like im not being treated as well as i feel that i treat someone else, im easy to snap and call that person out. feeling disrespected is the quickest, and fastest way to push my buttons. im very quick to assume the negative about people, and expect the worst, which is something i really need to work on.
*so either way, my ways of solving conflicts are not the best, they certainly are not the worst. when i do 'go off the handle' and yell, im usually very good afterwards at listening to the other persons opinions/feelings, and appologizing for my over-the-top initial reaction. my friends know this is how i get, and they dont lose sleep over it. im very good at resolving conflicts, just not always initially.
as for the 25% of the time when someone confronts me... its usually cause i said something, and it came out wrong, or i was 'talking about them' when he/she was not around, and word got back to said friend, but not properly. when i talk about people in a negative manner, and not to their face... i try not to state things as facts like "she is a bitch" i try to say "i feel like she is acting like a bitch" i try super hard to cover my tracks and place emphasis that it is only my opinion... so that if 'word gets back' i know i am in the right. and the times when im just a jerk and get called out, i usually lie through my teeth until the other person(s) have sympathy on me, and i get out of being the bad guy.
sometimes i think im not as mature as i think i am. while i can be very serious, respectful, and aware... i think that sometimes i think too highly of myself in that asepct, and that i have more growing up to do than i realize (emotionally for sure).
loose ends
so i wanted to give 5 reasons why i want to be on the show, or why I THINK i would be good for the show... (it ended up being a lot longer than i intended, and the 5th reason kinda turned into much more)
happy reading.
the top 5 reasons i should be cast:
1. casting for the 20th season wanted people whose careers may lead them into media related fields... not only am i a Broadcast journalist major... but i also have done a lot with print. i know how to write for all forms of media, be it TV, Radio, or print. ive gotten hands on experience with reporting, photojounalism, and producing (both tv and radio). i love to write creatively, be it poetry, lyrics, or anything really (ive written a season for a comedy tv show, and written a short script for a suspense movie). basically when it comes to that request from the casting directors, i fit the bill amazingly well. i think alot of people on this site have not paid any attention to that aspect of this season in casting.
2. i have been a fan of the show, as im sure many of us have, for years... the first season i remember seeing was seattle.... i thought it was an amazing season, it dealt with coming out, suicide, death, and disease... it covered so much, real and important 'stuff.' when i saw that season i just thought 'wow.' as i got older i thought ... what an amazing experience, you get to meet 6 incredible people, live with them and create a unique bond through an experience not that many people can say they have had. and then there is the aftermath... which leads into my next reason...
3. ive always wanted to 'help' people, which is why i became an RA in the UWMilwaukee dorms for a semester. my life always seems 'out of whack' and i feel like i rarely have the advice or support i need from friends (of course i have a few friends i know i can count on).... but its always made me very happy, and proud to know that my advice, or my support for someone else, helped get them through a rough spot in their lives, or that my advice helped them improve a negative situation. being an RA, was an amazing experience, and i think that being on the real world... afterwards, would give me such a great opportunity to give back to the youth of the country, be it giving me the opportunity to tour high schools and colleges to speak, or if it opens other doors... i really think being on the show itself, and then the 'aftermath,' i will really be able to impact so many more lives, in a positive way.
4. the experience itself, i have a lot of growing to do, that i do not think i realize, and i think the show would shine light on all sorts of lifestyles, personalities, and situations that i am not used to seeing, or maybe do not even realize exist- i think the growth and self reflection the show can provide is awesome, and id love to be a part of that.
5. of course to be on the show itself and have a blast. meeting crazy people, doing crazy things... and participate in a once in a life time experience, and to have it forever captured on film.
im not going to be the person that sits and home and makes the most ridiculous video possible to get votes out of shame and attention, cause the people making these videos are not taping anything real, they are 100% hamming it up for the camera, and that is not how they are going to act on tv.
i'm hoping my pictures, a glimpse at me through non 'staged' and non 'psychotic' videos, give a climpse at what i would actually provide for the show, and of course, my blogs... i think provide great insight.
i know without a doubt, i would not only benefit personally from being on the show, and be able to give back everything i get out of the experience... but i also know from a media studies/television studies/films studies perspective... that my everyday life,as is, would make for great tv, let alone giving my life the Real World treatment.
the way i intereact with people, my sense of humor, my stable instability... my personality... almost everything about me could potentially be 'airable.' the best thing about me, as stated in prior blog... is that my personality is not one solid thing. im a very fluid person... i can be pissed off cussing and throwing a fit one minute cause im so mad at someone, and an hour later im ready to back a pie with them. seriously. i wont lie, i know i can get on people's nerves at times... but in the end it always has a happy ending (well usually).
not sure why im selling myself here, i mean me saying "im perfect" for tv is really no different than anybody else on the site saying. i guess when i see other people saying it in their videos etc, i can tell they are just saying what they need to say, and they would be a dud if given opprtunity to be on a reality show like this. i do not think anyone can honestly say 'i would be great for tv' unless they understand what goes on in editing, producing, directing, etc.... if you do not know the ins and outs of tv/film and the tech aspects of those things, you just think your night after night of boozing is 'made for tv,' and that running around naked 100% of the is what makes tv, but there is more to it than that...
(i am not saying i have a higher wisdom than anybody else, or that i really just know everything about casting a show or anything like that, or even that my education background somehow makes me better for the show, im not trying to be an ass, im just saying, there are more things to think about when trying to obtain the number one spot than 'im really cool when im drunk, and thats it'). i just honestly know that my natural personality is entertaining as hell be it under the influence or not. im not an actor and im not going to bull shit my way through the rounds. if the public ends up voting for someone who was just being an annoying camera whore, and they end up on the show, chances are we wont see much of them on the season... i just hope someone deservering and honestly entertaining makes it to the end.
so with one last sign off of a blog, until round three...
GOOD LUCK to all of those that deserve this opportunity, there are so many people on this site, that really deserve the experience, and would probably be awesome to watch on television... but there are also a lot of people on this site that not only dont appear to deserve the opportunity... but honestly, would really just not be appealing to watch.
so be it me or not- there are a lot of people i would like to see on, if i dont make the cut... this is an awesome experiement and i cant wait to see how it turns out!
peace ya'll
DVG
family ties
well, where to start.
my mother had me when she was 16. i thought until high school i was an accident... who has a child at 16 on purpose? when i asked my mother about this, she told me i was 100% planned, she had always seen herself as a young mom, she fell in love with my biological father and wanted to marry him. my grandfather, apparently did not approve of this, and there i came... and my mom married my biological father....and moved with me (Still in the womb) to north carolina to an army base.
around the time i was two my mom left north carolina, moved in with my grandparents (and uncle) in indiana... and got a divorce. my grandparents did not believe divorce should have been an option. my uncle is currently 30 and he and my grandpa are two of the closest men to me in my lives... when i came out my mom told me she thought it was her 'fault' because i never had a stable father figure, my response was not only did me being gay have nothing to do with her, but that my grandpa and uncle were truly awesome male figures in my life.
at anyrate my mom remarried when i was 6.... they were together until i was about 10, then seperate... got back together for a bit... and officially called it quits when i was 11(we moved to northern wisconsin at this time) or so. he was very emotionally abusive towards me... and sometimes physical, in that i got spanked in a manner that was definately abusively excessive, and got inatimate objects such as bowls and the sunday paper thrown at me. i got told on a regular basis i was stupid and useless, and that i was worth being included. i honestly dont think my mom saw the bulk of it going on, and i think she felt it was better i had a not so good father figure than not have one at all.
i know how important i am to my mom, and i know almost every decision she made in my youth, was honestly because she thought it was the best thing for me. i dont blame her for marrying that man, but i like to pretend that part of my life didnt happen.
when i was 12 my mom remarried once again, to jeff. the man i call my Dad. at first i was hesitant, because i was the number one guy in my moms life, and i didnt like another guy having my moms attention over me. but i can say with 100% certainty that while it took my mom three tries, she found the absolute best match for her, her soulmate, and the most amazing father i could have ever asked for. when i was a freshman in highschool he adopted me, and that is one of the most amazing things i think anyone has ever done for me.
i would not change a single thing about my life, in regards to family and moving (i went to more grade schools than i have fingers, which i believe is the reason i put more emotion into materialistic things than people), but if my mom had not made the decisions she did, she would not have married the man i now call and consider my father 100% without a doubt. i would do anything for him, and just thinking of what he has done for me, and what he means to me, brings me to tears to this day.
my grandma is my best friend i always say. i love her with all my heart, she has always been there for me, and always gone out of her way to make sure im happy, her and my grandpa both. my grandma once called my grandpa her man and i asked her what i was then and she said "well you're my grand-man," and thats what shes called me ever since. my mimi and papa mean the world to me. i do not have a childhood memory that does not include them.i have been shown so much love and support by them... its really unbelieveable.
my relationship with my biological father was rocky until i was 12, and scarce from then until 16. when he missed my 18th birthday, i wrote him a two page long email, basically disowning him and informing him he wasnt worthy to be mine, let alone anyones father.
the new years after i turned 20, i got an email from him, after not hearing from him in almost 2 years....i decided to give him a chance to be a friend, but let him know he would never be my dad, or a father to me, because i already had one. after a year, i flew with a friend to hawaii to see my biolocgical father for the first time in over 9 years... i met his fiance(who is hawaiian, and now his 25(26?) year old wife)... and stayed for two weeks. it was an amazing experience.... and we now have a 'relationship' but nothing i would consider that of a father. i have told him this... i am too old to need or even want him as a father, it was too little too late. i am grateful we are talking now... and that we have whatever kind of disfunction relationship we do... i know things have two sides... so i do not fully blame him... but i will 100% stand behind my mother, and choose her until i die, because she was the one the raised me and did not leave... no matter what the circumstance... i dont think ive been told everything in regards to the situation, but alas i no longer care. im glad my biological father finally owned up, even if it wasnt until i was an adult, because its nice to know where i 'came from' and to have contact with the other person who was responsible for creating me.
but again, i have a Dad, who was there for the most important days of my life...first dates, first car, ACTs, first jobs, taking me to college,etc... and thats the way it is, and i would not change that for anything. i dont think my biological father would change anything either, because if the past were to be different he may not have met his awesome wife. i believe things happen for a reason, and if we could change things in our past, even the bad things, that would affect the good things in our current life or future.
lastly... i have three siblings. bryttney is 15, hunter is 12, and brandon is 9. i love them all dearly, and it freaks me out how old they are getting and they no longer need me to teach them things, especially bryttney. i feel like i helped raiser her... and now she doesnt need me... because she has become her own, amazing, person. there is not much to say about them... i love them all with everything in my being, and think i have the most amazing siblings a big brother could ask for, and i could not be more proud of all three of them.
alas, i think this is all i have to say about my family... my moms brother and i finally started getting along about 9 months ago, i used to call him my hero, and then things got bitter between us, but now that im older things have finally settled out, and i think we are on the same page.
i have one of those craziest most disfunctional family trees, and i could go on for pages into details of aunts and uncles and all the crazy shit my family has gone through, but now is not the time for a novel. on one last note, ive always stayed in contact with my biological fathers mother and sister. just because he wasntthere, i wasnt about to cut them out. they have both always been there for me.... even when the bio father was not. when my grandma smith found out that my biological father and i were in contact again, and had began to form some sort of relationship she got teary eyed and told me it was the one thing in the world she wanted to see happen.
alright, peace out ya'll
crazy talk
ok, seriously... i need to vent. not because someone is doing better than me but more so because someone is doing better than others (maybe me included) that they should not be.
lets look at media, mtv, and casting a reality show. while yes it would be smart to cast someone who is very against drinking...because it would cause a lot of controversy, it just doesnt fit the formula quite right. the formula for this show is the crazier and more ridiculous people are, the more entertaining the show is... this formula, to get maximum effects usually involves alcohol.
being in a house with 5-6 other people that are going to be drinking and going out... what would you gain by being on the show, except feeling excluded, isolated, and not getting any actual time on the air, because, the alcohol endused drama, while sad, is very true, is what makes the ratings and what will get air time...
in that, all you underagers, seriously, do you remember rachel (i believe it was her name) from back to new york(i believe it was)... probably not, because she was (i believe) the only cast member under 21, thus got left behind a lot, and saw minimual time on the screen. and when she was, she was frequently seemed unhappy with her situation
and most importantly... im sick and f*ckin tired of people who think they are better than other people, or are more intelligent because they dont 'conform to societal norms/standards'- thats the best way of dealing with your superficial or materialistic insecurities isnt it? to say that because you are such an individual, and dont 'go with the flow' that you are just worlds better? you do what you want, because it is what you enjoy, so if what somebody else (myself?) enjoys sometimes happens to be the acceptable social norm, why does that make that person seen more negatively by you, if they are just doing what they enjoy... how can you expect others to accept your differences, if you cant accept that their differences ARE DIFFERENT than yours? be them in the majority or not.
AND IF DRUNK PEOPLE ANNOY YOU WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU WANT TO BE ON THIS SHOW? HAVE YOU SEEN IT? not that life cant/shouldnt be a great time without drinking and the antics, arguements, and sex that seem to follow, but that is what is a reaccuring theme with this show, and tends to be the stuff that gets aired. is there a point in subjecting yourself to a 4 month constant annoyance? seriously, but this show isnt real life, it is the bits of life that produce the best show for the audience's maximum reception, and our sad teenage american society just want to see partying and sex (as a mtv demographic majority, not that its all teenagers, but this specific demographic). the moral fiber of the country is out the window, so lets just face the truth
the bottom line is sex sells, and for some reason alcohol and sex have a strong correlation...thus mtv/viacom tries to follow this, and just because you get cast, doesnt mean you will be on the show much
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*that is clearly directed towards a few specific people* i do not attack because i want to judge you or offend you, or that they are meant to be attacks on your character, but are being mentioned in this rant, because people need to remember that the real world, is in the end about ratings, and what will and wont be on the air is based on these things, also because i think people need to think about these things before they vote
on another note- id also like to address some of the gay men out there. i think it is extremely bogus some of you are bashing on previous gay cast members, for not being 'gay enough' etc. do you not realize that if gays cant accept each other and the fact that not all gay men are the same, that you cant expect society as a whole to accept gays then? there are differences in the gay community. some men are more masculine (not less gay/closeted), while others are more feminine(this DOES NOT mean more gay). just because one gay person is more flamboyant doesnt make that person a better gay, or the less flamboyant person afraid of who they are. not all gay men are that way, not because they are not afraid to be, thats just not who they are. they are not more scared, or trying to be more straight, the definition of gay is not 'he who is most feminine is most gay' or ' a better gay'. until we can learn acceptance amongst ourselves, we cant expect or even hope for those not in the gay community to do the same.
being gay shouldnt not be your solo defining characteristic. being gay isnt WHO YOU ARE, but a PART OF WHO YOU ARE.
i dont know that i will make the next round, i am not that confident i will, but there are some people that arent in the top half right now, that definately should be.
its a sad truth, but its a truth. so vote accordingly
video length, what?
so really hoping i make the second round, in regards to video length.
i had two clips over 90 seconds but we were trying to upload them during the time the site was going REALLY crazy, and never working... and then they didnt get accepted cause of format, so we re-formated them, and again they didnt upload.
so we found two shorter clips that equal almost 90 seconds... so that should count for something? and now im in denver and dont have the option of getting a full 90 second clip up cause the lap top im using doesnt have an editing program.
so in other words, i deserve and basically have all the right shit to get to roudn two, so i better damn make it.... and when im back in wisconsin, i will have some damn perfect videos up!
good luck to all
Best and Worst Traits (mostly best!)
best traits...
I'm a great friend; I can say that with great confidence. If you treat me right, I will treat you the same way... treat others how you want to be treated. But if you screw me over, I will screw you back twice as hard, or at least make you feel bad as hell for what you did( ie. a friend walked out of my 21st birthday dinner without paying 30 bucks, then had the nerve to call me and ask what time we were going to the bars, I laid into her so bad I made her cry, twice)I'm very honest, I do not go out of my way to hurt others feelings, but if I really do not agree with you, or what you are doing, I will tell you- I've been told this is actually a good trait of mine. With that, I'm an open book, I'm not afraid of anything in my past, and I do not regret my actions, because I learn from them, and that is the important thing. That's life: making mistakes and growing; I don't believe in living in regret. I tell it like it is, and I'll tell you all there is to tell if you ask.
I'm great at making people smile and laugh when they are down, and I'm a great listener (so I've been told).
I'm pretty darn creative, and always find ways to entertain myself and friends when we are bored. I'm this way, I believe because of my fun little problem known as ADhD! :)
I can be very unbiased. When I'm in an arguement, or someone calls me out on something, I'm pretty good at listening to their side, and trying to understand where they are coming from... but sometimes my passion gets the best of me ;), I think/know I'm right, and will argue until I persuade the other person to agree with me... my grandma always tells me I have an excuse/reason for everything, and my 'dumb logic' usually works. Mom tells me I should have been a lawyer because of this.
I'm easy to get along, even though I am brutally honest... people tend to respect my opinion.
I'm pretty well rounded(I've been a dorm RA, dietary aid, housekeeper, fast-food worker, restaurant server, bartender, babysitter...and usually 2-3 of these jobs at a time).
While i may be bit closed minded about somethings, overall I'm pretty open and honest. Along with that, I don't fit one personality stereo-type. I've been told I'm one of the 'straight-gay guys' ... I can party most guys to the floor (a majority of my guy friends are straight, and they love the shit out of me), but I still know how to be a best friend to the girls
my personality I like to think is very diverse.((I'd say I'm a pretty equal mix of Ace, Danny(New Orleans), Tanya, and Frank...if I had to compare myself to previous cast members)) While I may identify as gay, I'm physically attracted to women, Its just not there emotionally/romantically. My sexuality does not define me; it is not who I am, but merely a part of who I am. I believe sexuality is very fluid, and should not have to be tagged by society.
worst traits- I can jump the handle pretty easy, its not that I have a short temper per say....but I'm very quick to open my mouth before processing what someone actually meant (I've been screwed/hurt really bad a number of times by people i thought cared about, so I tend to assume the worst)... on the plus side, im pretty good at admitting I'm wrong, if not right away, eventually.
I talk really fast?
I procrastinate, but I work well under the pressure, so that's not the worst thing in the world.
I have a low tolerance for stupid people, not naive people, and not even ignorant people... but people that just say stupid and immature things, I want to flick them in the back of the head.
that's all I've got, I mostly like who I am, so my 'worst' list was bound to not be as long as my 'best' list!
VIDEO?!!!!!
lord im still trying to get a video up.
IF ITS GOING TO GO FROM BEING "PENDING APPROVAL" to just not being there at all I SHOULD AT LEAST BE TOLD WHY IT WENT FROM PENDING TO not accepted or whatever. MY VIDEOS WERE 100% APPROPRIATE right around TWO MINUTES! I AM PISSED. I NOW DONT KNOW IF I WILL HAVE A VIDEO UP IN TIME. BULL SHIT!
i just graduated.... im annoyed now. FUCK THAT NOISE! haha
i was in an accident over the weekend. nobody was hurt but me, and perhaps a tree. long story... still a little weirded out by the whole thing so i dont want to get into detail at the moment....barely been 96 hours. no car has put a damper on various arrangements, and i have barely wanted to leave the couch let alone the house...just a very weird reality check, and a bit emotionally distressing.
but yea, with that happening i got behind in finals, and now graduation is on sunday... so its just not done yet- but i'll be damned if i dont get something up soon.
Video to Come...etc.
Alright ya'll.... for years people have been telling me "do the real world"... I've met random strangers at bars.... or friends' friends... and they say "you would be perfect for the real world, you have the greatest personality for the show- they've never had any body quite like you" . . . so I've done the audition casting before and that hasn't worked, those of you who have told me time and time again to do this... now's the time- its up to you!!!
***I should have a video up by thursday- I need to go to the tv-lab and edit a video together***
the short and skinny... I'm majoring in Broadcast Journalism and graduating in May with a minor in English/Film Studies- I'm at a point in my life where i do not know where to go, I'm graduating, have not had time (due to working) to do the proper internships to go out into the "real 'adult' world"- so the timing for this seems right....
i like to write, anything really, poetry, lyrics, sceen-plays... I'm great at photography and am great behind a camera (won a Wisconsin Broadcast Award)... there is more to me than there is to most people, I'm the first person to hug you when the going gets tough, but I'm also the first person to call you out for acting like a fool...I've had friends hate me for a week because of something I called them out at, only to thank me later, and tell me my 'tough love' and 'brutal honesty' is a quality they would never change, and that I'm one of the few than can handle this trait...
I also know how to throw a wicked party, I'm pretty known by my extensive circle of friends for making killer 'whop'...putting together a gnarly 6 hour play list- and helpin' the 50 people I've jammed in my house kick-back and have a wild time!
I'm about as real, and fun, as they come, so throw me those votes!
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