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Ericw's Blog
THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE WHO VOTED! PEACE OUTTT!
I just want to thank everyone who voted for me, everyone who enjoyed my videos, that's why I was here - for your entertainment. It's obvious that I won't be moving on since I'm not on the top pages and it's okay! This site consumed alot of my time and maybe now I can get my life on track and prepare for the future! This did mean alot to me and I would have loved to be part of history in the making, it had been a dream of mine, but they'll be more opportunities in life.
For everyone who will miss me you can find me on myspace at... www.myspace.com/ericweidner or facebook me - Eric Weidner. I hope to see one of you on the show and I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their summer! Take care and you will all be seeing me soon!
-Eric aka Easy E
www.myspace.com/ericweidner
Alcohol is for LOSERS!
Getting up in the morning with your head pounding like your brain is about to burst out and the feeling in your stomach where all you want to do is curl up in a ball and hope the room stops spinning isn't a very nice way to wake up in the morning. That's why I choose not to drink. I mean I've been drunk before but not to the point where I'm out of control.
I feel as a person I enjoy my life and the way I act towards others. alcohol gets in my way and makes me act in foolish ways. One time I swung from a rope swing and flew into the water upside down and started screaming "i'm drowning, im drowning" then to find out I'm standing in knee deep water. I don't think I left a good impression on anyone that night. That's why I choose not to drink. You cannot control yourself, you're all over the place and waking up in the morning and hoping you didn't embarrase yourself isn't a good thought because you obviously know you did!
I'm outgoing and out of control without alcohol. I can have fun with it and still be the life of the party with just drinking AQUAFINA! Alcohol brings people together and at the same time it tears lives apart and I just feel my life is better of without it and so is my social life. I wouldn't wanna wake up hungover next to some trailor trash guy and wanna throw up would I?
The Biggest Problem I face
Most people would probably assume my biggest problem is my sexuality, but that is the least of my worries. I've overcame caring what people have thought of me and the world is changing and they're bigger issues then that.
My biggest problem I have to face in life is a crisis that deals with not knowing what I truly want to do with my life. I wake up and go to sleep always wondering "what do I want to do, where do I want to go and what do I want to be?" It's stressful and I find myself sometimes in tears thinking that I'm never going to know.
I'm a hairstylist and I love what I do - I perfect people and lift their heads so they can hold them high. The problem is that I'm 20 years old and feel like I should be experiencing life and not already working at a career i'm suppose to have for the rest of my life. I'm so confused with these question and and it's hard. Life changing decisions are the hardest.
I applied to this performing art school in San Francisco and I got accepted. I just wanted to see what would happen. Now here I am debating... should I go and experience a different routine and find out more about myself or stay here and work at the salon and always wonder what would have happened. My shadowy future is my biggest problem and I just wish life was sometimes easier and answers were clearer. when I finally make my decision - whenever that happens haha - I just hope and pray that it's the best decision I could have made and I don't fall flat on my face.
VOTE FOR ME ILL VOTE FOR YOU?? BLAH BLAH BLAH EAT MY ASS!!
I've been noticing alot... well EVERYDAY - that people only leave testimonials that say "hey vote for me, i'll vote for you! blah blah blahhh!" I mean come on... why would I honestly vote for another person when this is a compeition? And I'm also sure you didn't vote for me because my votes haven't increased since 1000 of you have left that comment. When you leave testimonials leave one that is drected RIGHT TO ME, not copied and pasted to everyone on this website... seriously get a life. I'm not trying to be mean or "hate" on anyone, I'm just being real and I'm sure everyone feels this way, they are just scared for people to hate them and not vote for them. I'm here because I have a life, I'm a hairstylist and I actually have a job and don't sit at home 24/7 voting for myself just so I can be on top. I want people to vote for me because they can actually see me on the show. I'm not going to vote for myself hundreds of times a minute to make people think that people actually like me ;) If you are truly voting for me then thank you sooo much. It does mean alot to be because it's my dream to be on this show. I don't know why but it just is. I wanna bring the Realworld back to their roots because I'm sick of seeing the same thing in each season. Keep voting if you really are and stop leaving me automatic responses - personalize the shittt!
Easy E
I got the name "Easy E" while in Highschool. A few of my friends and I created this group V4L = Virgins 4 Life... I was obviously the first one kicked out of it - my virginity sure didn't last long. Thanks to this straight guy who already had a GIRLFRIEND! I'm not Easy by any means or SLEAZY as I've also heard. I've actually been celibate for a year now - not that anyone truly cares about my personal life - YEAH RIGHT. Each day my personal life is tapped into. Everyone worrying about my sexuality and what I do behind close doors. I love the people who point out the obvious. Yes I'm a so-called "FAG" but you don't have to point it out as if no one knows. It's like me seeing a girl and saying "hey, that's a girl right there, she has a vagina!" I've been called every name in the book. I realized the other day listening to music, cruising around town that people can say whatever they want about me, and life goes on. The world keeps turning and my heart keeps beating. Things people say doesn't make the grass stop growing or people from living. They're just words that people use to try to slow people down from enjoying their life and I've learned it doesn't work. I can be heartless at times and nothing ever seems to offend me. People leave me comments saying I'm a queer and I'm sooo gay and I'm a fairy and i just laugh. It makes me feel good that people actually worry more about my life then I do. It makes me already feel like a celebrity because I'm famous to alot of people because they can't stop talking about me and they talk about me like they have known me for years. I love it! I love being me and driving people crazy for loving my life and the person I am. It keeps me going from day to day knowing I can piss hundreds of people off. It's not intentional, it's just me being me and not slowing down for anyone. I'm Easy E - my life is anything from ordinary and it's far from boring. I hope some of you learn alot from the things I write and try to understand the person I am. I hope that V4L lives on and people try to stay true to themselves and not lose their pureness at a young age. I hope everyone keeps talking alot of shit because it makes the world go around. It makes people want to stay alive so they can hear mean things about themselves. I'd rather have bad things said then nothing at all. Atleast I'm known for something - as being a gay queer as most of you would say. Just live life and have fun because the last 20 years have flown by and soon i'm going to be in a wheelchair and having people have to wipe my own ass.
* Sticks and Stones Bitches *
My Blinded Family
I knew I'd have to tell everyone about my family and it scared me. All my truth seems to be coming out and it's helping me to be a better person.
My family is far from perfect and I've accepted that. You cannot choose who your parents are or where you grow up, but you do get to choose where you want to go. I wish you could choose your parents and choose the way your childhood is, but you can't. It's life and it's hard. The hardest part about life is living it and my life has been hard. I've had sooo many obstacles that it's unbelieveable that i'm still alive standing strong. I thank my family for that.
I never really had a father figure in my life. He was always absent during my childhood years and still to this day. I remember one time when I was younger he hit me in my face and I don't remember why, I just remember tiny drops of blood coming down my cheeks, I remember laying there helpless just thinking "What did I do?" I did nothing. It's just my fathers way of taking his anger out. We barely ever talk still. He's not a part of my life. He feels sooo far away yet he sleeps in the room down the hall. Drugs and Alcohol get the best of people and it makes me sick that he affected my life in sooo many ways, and he has no idea. He's made a stronger person and someone who stands strong and I hold my own ground now.
My mother has always been there, came to every play/musical I was in and supported me from the day I shot out of her. Just in the past few months things have gotten bad. Her father [my grandpa] who is one of the most amazing people I've ever known passed away from cancer and it was hard on her, hard on the whole family. I've never cried so hard in my life. She stopped eatting and became depressed. I tried to cheer her up but she never wanted to leave her room. To make things even worse she finds out that my dad [ the asshole he is ] was having an affair the whole time she was taking care of her dying father... what a way to be a man dad. It wasn't enough that her dad just died and now someone who is suppose to love her just went against their vows and destroyed any hope and any spirit she had left in her.
It makes me upset to walk by her room and see her lay there listening to her IPOD staring off into the air. She tells me all the time she wants to blow her head off and it makes me cry because I cannot see myself live without a mother. I just cannot imagine what she's going through and I try to be there for her. We always end up arguing because I want her to stick up for herself and get healthy and start living again. She lets my dad do whatever he wants with no consquences and no actions and she sits there and takes it. I tell her how I feel all the time and she doesn't want to listen, she says "it's my life, I cannot stop loving someone who I've loved for 25 years."
Today she actually kicked my door open and told me I have 2 weeks to pack and I have to move out.
I look at my two brothers who have no jobs and no future and they live at home rent free and here I am working my butt off and she sees right through me. She's blinded by the pain and our family is shattered into pieces that will never be able to be put back together.
I'm not here for sympathy and i'm not here to be judged. I'm sure some of you will have things to say like always. Don't judge me, you have no idea what i've went through and still to be alive is a great accomplishment. I love where I'm at in life and thank my family because without what they've done I wouldn't be the person I am. I'm strong and driven and I'm building the path I want to take in my life and I'm going to end up where I want. I love my family, but i'm just waiting for things to heal and my life to make sense. I'm waiting for my mom to be strong and to wipe away the tears. I'm just waiting for a sense of hope and a love that will heal everything.
Happy Birthday to MEEE
Today was my 20th birthday, wahooo... one more year and im fully legal. 20 is kind of a boring age though, I'm not a teenager anymore and I'm not quite an adult. It's kind of like being 23 - who really wants to be that old either... oh well, we all grow up and age - I just hope they create something that stunts aging. I'm not ready for all the wrinkles haha.
So last night I had this dream that I was making out with someone - I mean a hardcore makeout session and when I woke up this morning I realized I haven't kissed anyone in - well - along time! It kind of made me depressed, I forgot probably how to even kiss. I'm not celibate or anything, I just haven't had any hot lip action lately, and I obviously didn't get any on my birthday. But thanks to Amber I'm 10 pounds heavier due to the PENIS cake she made me and brought to work.
Growing up is a weird thing - it kinda scares me in a way. I love being young and carefree, I still feel like a 10 year old boy deep inside that just wants to run outside and jump in the dirt. It was fun being a kid, you never had a worry in the world, never understood what was really happening in the world and you just live each day like it's the best and always have a smile on your face. That's what scares me with age, I just don't want to lose all of this youthfulness and grow up into a mean old fart.
Keep Hating - It makes me stronger
I love posting blogs, I feel like I can write whatever I want and anyone will read it. This is the first time I've really expressed who I really am. So today my topic is the ignorant bojangle retards who love to leave me comments saying I embarrase myself or they reported me for cheating. It's like I need to tell people NOT to vote for me because if I even get 1 vote or move a few spots I somehow cheated. This is obviously a competition where people are going to have higher votes and don't come to me complaining that i'm cheating, if I was, don't you think I'd be in first place? Don't hate on me because your life sucks and no one wants to vote for you. I'm just good at spreading the word. People can say whatever they want to me, words don't affect me or what I'm going to do in my life. I'm not going to cry or have a breakdown because you told me to go kill myself. Anyone throwing negativity at me is obviously not worth my time or the tissue I wipe my ass with. I can be one of the meanest people anyone has ever met and the things people say to me, I can comeback and say something 586254 as hard. The things people say just make you stronger and make me fight harder for the things I strive to achieve in life. So keep them coming because I'm loving it - and trust me - your time is coming!
Hatred is Beauty
Hate is something that will go on forever, it doesn't stop. I'm probably going to be hated my whole life by individuals who try to hold me down. I know who I am as a person and I know where I have came from. If you hate me for that, then obviously you suck at life and aren't as fabulous as me! Something that makes me different from anyone on REALWORLD in the past seasons is that... hmmm... IM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! I don't have sex on camera, let alone at all, you could say im a reborn virgin. Sex is boring and it's overrated. I can pleasure myself better then anyone else can. I'm a very open person, I say what's on my mind and I don't think before I speak. It's all in dark humor in my book. I'm also a very talented person. Most people on the show just drink all day and bicker with eachother. Yes, I do argue alot, but I argue about meaningful things, things that are happening in the world today, like people dying everyday from AIDS and the EQUAL rights homosexuals DON"T have. I want to show the world that every gay person isn't the same and change the way people view homosexuality. I'm sure every homophobic parent tells their son/daughter that we are the devil, but I want to change their ignorance into a respectful view of homosexuality. I'm not here to be drunk 24/7 and jump from bed to bed, i'm here to have an experience and to have fun and show off who I am and how unique I am as a person. I'm funny as hell and can make people piss their pants. I'm goofy and dance from morning til night. I'm full of life and I strive to achieve in life and drive myself towards the things I want. I'm a good person at heart, but I have a tough shell... I have this shell because people hate me for the person I am, the person who isn't going to compromise the way I live or change for any individual besides myself. What makes me beautiful is that I feel comfortable in my skin and I can live day to day knowing people hate for - yet I still stand strong and I keep both feet on the ground.
VISIT ME ON MYSPACE!
Hey Everyone - if you'd like to get to know more about me check my page out...
www.myspace.com/EricWeidner
and my realworld page
www.myspace.com/ericweidnerrealworld
Religion and Discrimination
So today I was on my way out of the grocery store and unloaded the food into the back of my car. I go to open my door and I see that there is this little note wedged into the crack of the door. I open it and it said "Christ Jesus came into the world to SAVE SINNERS!" and then on the back it had his phone number and email which I will list below so everyone can have it. I mean he gave it to me so it's my duty to spread the worthless word and give everyone a chance to call his ignorant butt.
Once I got home I thought "hmmm, maybe I should call." So I dailed his number and gave him alittle ring a ling ling. Once he picked up he had this strong accent, so right then I raise my voice "Yes, Hello, this is Eric - you left me a personal message on my car, and just to let you know if you ever touch my car again i'll have your illegal immigrant butt arrested, and just to let you know I love the way I live and I'm sooo glad you give a flying crap how I live my life. I know it drives you crazy but I'm not going to live my life the way you'd like me, you live yours how you'd like, and if I could choose I'd have you disappear. So have a great day and next time you want to get into my life, DON'T!" Then I hung up, he didn't say one word. Even if he tried I probably wouldn't even know what he was even saying with his accent.
That's fine that people go to church and live their life by what the bible says, but don't come to me and try to "convert" me or "save" me. I choose not to go to church, I think it's a waste of time. Religion or church isn't saving people, it's not finding a cure for cancer or saving people with Aids. It's not feeding the hunger or sheltering the homeless. It just serves as one purpose - to give people false hope that there is going to be a brighter tomorrow and gives people something to believe in. If you would like to live your life like that then that's fine with me, but don't oush it upon me and worry the way I live my life, I'm happy, I'm free and my life is pretty darn good. You don't choose what sin is greater then another, people sin everyday and just because I'm a continous sinner [ as you would call it ] doesn't mean I'm going to hell. I've never killed a person, I'm not affecting anyone. The way I live my PERSONAL life has no reflect on the type of person I am. Religion causes problems, it causes hate and wars. Believe what you want to believe, but keep it to yourself because I could careless what anyone has to say with the way I choose to live, this is my life, MY life, and I'm the only person who is going to decide the life I'm going to pursue.
Best/Worst Traits
When asked “what are your best and worst traits?” I thought “Oh no!” now I have to be brutally honest about myself. Ouch!
It is nice to pretend that they’re only good things, but I know pretty much who I am and that they’re traits that make me a fabulous person along with traits that can make me look obnoxious and snobby.
I am vibrant and exhilarating, driven to succeed with a shameless naked ambition. I jump out of bed in the morning full of energy and fierce determination to make each day as successful and also full of outrageous and dramatic fun. I work hard to get what I want and where I want to get in life.
I can be caring and loving, but also brutally honest when it is needed and sometimes when it isn’t needed. I am shameless when t comes to wanting to be the center of attention. I crave the limelight. I am goofy at times and entertaining enough that my friends almost piss their pants from laughing so hard.
I do need to think about some of the things I say before they shoot out of my mouth, but I just cover it by saying “Just Kidding!” It gives me the power to say whatever I want, because then I can act as if I was joking, but I was really being serious. It’s just my strong sense of humor.
When it comes down to it - I love being around people, being gossipy, outrageous and very dramatic. All of these things are what makes me the person I am and I love the person who I’ve become. The good parts and the not so good parts all are combined to make the very unique ERIC! At the end of the day, that is a pretty good person to be.
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