my mom and pop yo . . .

it's a bit hard for me to be completely honest about this via internet considering anything i say can and probably will get back to my parents . last thing i need is to look at my father with contrite (mostly in regards to my mother), but i'll do my best .

i pretty much feel like i've never been anyones kid . which is probably why i don't take orders well . and i certainly hate it when my boyfriend goes parental on me . perhaps it can explain why i am the way i am . i mean, don't get me wrong, i love my parents to death, but it's taken me a long time to come to this point . i've always been close with my dad, i was his princess . and up until the age of about 12 i was close with my mom .

my mom more or less abandoned me . when i was 12 she was . . . i don't know, in a bad place . my parents divorced when i was 9 and for two months my mom told my dad that my brother and i didn't want to see him when in reality, she wouldn't let us see my dad . this eventually changed . but what i will not let go of is my moms constant need for attention and drama . at the age of 12 she told my brother and i that she had cancer and 6 months to live . . . when in all actuality she was completely healthy and her "diagnosis" was straight out of her self pity and need for compassion . this, pisses me off to this day .

my mom has always had a way of choosing the current love in her life over her kids . she says it isn't true, but it is . when she re-married she didn't really need my brother and i . i mean don't get me wrong, she loved us, but her time was best spent with him . until on their one month wedding anniversary he tried to kill her, and my brother . then, she met my 5th grade gym teacher and moved in with him . forcing me and my dad to move in with his then-current girlfriend who has done so much to ruin my life that it makes me sick to even speak about, so i won't . let me just say, there is one person that truly hates me in this world, and it's my dad's ex girlfriend .

shortly after mommy's split she ran away to south carolina . . . just left my brother and i . with our tuitions unpaid and not much to live off of . so of course, who saved me ? dad . he's always been the one who has successfully taken care of me . however, my dad has always been my friend . i don't see him as my dad so much . my friends think it's funny the way i speak to my dad . i yell at him, argue with him, swear at him, tell him about my sex life (which he then begs not to hear about), etc .

and that's pretty much it . i am a child of survival and circumstance . i'm at least thankful to have always had my father because without him, i'd be dead .

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